So you need to picture this being read aloud by that "movie announcer guy," Don LaFontaine, who parodied himself in this Geico ad:
http://www.youtube.com/v/ZJMGS7l0wT8
if you are a fan as I am of Mr LaFontaine, who is no longer with us, see also:
http://www.youtube.com/v/EBG7dgamWLw
Consider the Lilies: A Novel
"In a world gone mad, as the planet hurtles over the tipping point, and the terrors of extreme climate change ravage the globe... four women stand alone against rising sea levels, volcanic eruptions, and glowing green radioactive phytoplankton...
"Cat, a sheep farmer in the highlands of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, accompanied by her lovable blue heelers Empress and Fly, must somehow deal with an influx of refugees from the coastal communities, including monks and nuns from nearby Gampo Abbey...
"Libby, an engineer at a geothermal plant on the Salton Sea, accompanied by her lovable Brittany Spaniel Reg, must content with gun nuts and religious crazies at Slab City, where they have all retreated from the Sea of Cortez, which has roared up the Imperial Valley to merge with the Salton Sea, and are now being inundated with ash from the newly active Pinacate Volcanic Region...
"Eileen, an organic vegetable gardener on the Big Island of Hawaii, accompanied by her lovable mastiff Keeper, must fend off the vigilantes who are trying to take over the island following the innundation of Hilo, while dealing with fresh lava flows from Kiluaea...
"...and Jean, a climatologist, accompanied by her lovable airedale Nobs, must flee her research station in Iceland along with her research crew when the rising sea levels innundate Reykjavik... their freighter in the north atlantic is attacked by the radioactive glowing green plankton that have spent the last three million years locked in the Greenland ice sheet, now released into the sea by the melting of the ice.
"Lovely and svelte novelist Margrit McIntosh has unleashed upon the world a novel of breathtaking bogosity and ineluctable inanity... Lacking an imagination of her own, she has created highly derivative situations induced by obsessive, Netflix-fueled bingeing on episodes of "Lost" ... Sure to set a new standard of extreme suckage in the world of american literature..."
